Waitress: Hi, my name is Jenn. I'll be your server today. Could I start you off with some drinks?
Woman: Sure, I'll just have some H2O. I'm a nerd. :)
Man: (tries to hold back sneeze)
Waitress: And you?
Waitress: Alright, I'll be back with your drinks in a jiffy!
A few minutes go by
Waitress: Here's your water, and here's your formaldehyde.
Man: (drinks formaldehyde out of nervousness and develops cancer in later months)
WARNING: If you see a link that offers you free...
Anonymous asked: hey man, sorry about how random this is, but if i were to make you a badass wallet out of pokeman cards and mailed it to you, would you use it?
Guys the furry kid is in my study hall again and he’s meowing at his pencil. More top stories at 11
I was just on my schools tv channel am I famous now
doctor: you're paralyzed from the waist down. you'll need assistance with daily tasks such as eating, bathing, and dressing yourself. also, in order to move around you'll need a wheelchair.
doctor: im wheely sorry.
tomlinsen: this was like two years ago but anyways so in this one part of my house there’s these three steps but omg they’re deadly one time i was eating cereal and i slipped and fell and passed out and my cereal got everywhere. My sister said the last thing I yelled before I passed out was “MY CEREAL!!!”